April 15, 2021

The time to surrender

This morning i went down to the ocean to swim, an intention I set last night after an incredible healing Kahuna massage with Claire.

We arrived and I made my way onto the sand, dropped my stuff and off to the water with a dash of gusto.
The water was a lot colder than I was comfortable with, but I was determined. As I lowered my body into the water  the cold was tinged with an invitation, ‘come on in, it is here you will find your medicine’

Before long I was fully submerged and I couldn’t help but notice my desperate attempt to control where and how I was being moved, my breath short and irregular and a sense of fear grabbing at me with every swirl of the current.
‘ The lesson is to surrender and feel supported, because you are. Trust’ this message came as loud and clearly as it possibly could.
I closed my eyes and let go and before I knew it my breath had settled, my arms were floating above my head and I was being carried. The movements were gentle and careful and I felt the safest I can remember in a long time. I lifted my head, opened my eyes and took a mental snap shot of the tips of my toes sticking out above the water with the glistening of the morning sun on the ocean just behind them.

This morning I felt what it is to surrender.
I couldn’t have done it alone- I had to feel completely held, safe, supported and loved. And as a result, I was cleansed of fear, my attempt to force and resist and my default setting to micromanage life. Together the ocean and I took a step in the new direction of my journey.
I said a quiet prayer for anyone desperately seeking to feel safe and loved. For everyone who is pushing their own limits in order to heal. For the incredible people in my life who support my growth and don’t allow me to stay small and to myself, for moving towards the guidance and for being so brave and  allowing myself this healing.

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